Wednesday, May 25, 2005

oh no, what did i do?whats this Hi -5 thing going on? i clicked on it in hotmail, cos its so persistent and i ended up sending mass subscriptions to everyone else, marketing Hi-5 when i didnt mean to join it. oh no.oh no.enlighten me, someone pls.

***
ser darling, happy 21st. as ive mentioned, may you age gracefully, wisdom shall be you and Love for Him and yourself and me and Mankind in general will be your guiding light. 21 now, so dont do naughty things anymore, we gotta act a bit more pro now. hope you liked your impromptu birthday mini-bash courtesy of myself, jen and zhen with our lau-pok cheapskate but awesome(no less) choc truffle cake. bet you've never had sucha farnee-barnee birthday like this ,ever, so guess who but us can pull this off..rule of thumb - spontaneity rules. expectations are never good.

***

its really weird, but somehow or rather i have mixed emotions bout the China trip. on one hand, id love it, no kidding, cos of all the cultural, physical, social and emotional challenges it would pose, but on the other, it boils to a simple - i'll MISS. ill miss everything that is back here, ill miss all the opportunities for bondings and soul chats (my fav. activity!) and just being in familiar company. ill miss. would you be missing me? how, how, how.

will be back by 5th jul (departing 15th june)- ive no autoroaming nor internet access at all. how, how, how?

i know - write letters! yes, yes, write to me before i go off, ill savour all that is written each n everyday.

i want to be a word,
so that i can have meaning.
so you would understand
everything.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

it was good hanging out with jen n ser now tt the holidays are here.Simply put, i dont feel so lonely. oftentimes i feel like the floor could eat me up when in the midst of large gps of people - i may be surrounded yet the non-connection is evident. i want one-to-one. Simple Heart, could You help me out a little dear God? Simple Heart knows me the best, i dont feel so lonely when i talk to Him when humans are evidently disconnected. presence is over-rated.

so we went to eat Ya Kun Kaya Toast n jen gave me a Mr Tofu-Grouch n then to Ichiban Boshi (Wisma)(love the food heaps, our new hangout sushi palace ya ok ok?addiction kicks in). you know you are lagging greatly behind when everyone has car licences except for you but i will not succumb, i will not drive. then we meandered around to find arab st (Jen is a dangerous but skilled driver.kudos) and checked out Cafe Samar. real eclectic and exotic - all Palestinian-Middle Eastern inspired.

Simple Heart has been blessing me with these friends. love them heaps-sie heap. we've come to the stage where we dont feel the need to entertain each other - just their mere presence fills me with gladness. take for example, in Samar, i was reading Life, jen was reading erh..Blurb i think the smu publication n ser was entertaining herself with some pro-islamic publication ok im rusihng noe\w cos im at the airport gotta take the last bus so tata. so my point is ..i dont want superficiality in relationships, i want depth, i dont want pre-conceived notions , i want you to challenge myself and be surprised by the gamut of the differing sides that an individual can possess. hopes the wall comes crashing down. Simple Heart, no more walls can?

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

zhen turned 21 the other day.with much muackie muacks and happy blow-wind-blow kisses, this dear girl has had a quiet presence in my life. many of my old-is-gold friends usually do - we lead non-intrusive independent lives apart from each other but deep within each of us is a secret gold thread that binds our hearts, ties them with such quiet force that withstand much of the weathering of time and distance. Esp those two, since our lives revolves much around the windmills of Time and Distance.

the beautiful birthday girl and her pretty cake (icing courtesy of shooby) - oh btw this is the girl i spent V. day this year with, nursing hearts over dvds n home-made foodie n girl talk alright and no less.
go to : http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=lifewithfleur (13 may, 2005)

***

jen oh jen, wherefore art thou coming back from taiwan? im missing you you know that. got plenty of stories to tell. but ive no more stories to make if you dont come back. we gotta get back on track AND on the track to run.

***

hope deferred? ive got that hope in my heart! tender heart, be still and be very tender (not medium well, not medium rare. but rare and juicy and juicier still) and maybe you wont be all that cryptic or disillusioned or cynical. out, out, out!

***

3 jabs and that was a superwoman feat for me.the needles were huge, but the bacterias huge-r. flu has run its course and hopefully for another yr or so while it radiates/recycles/travels round my body, these live germs would kick the butts of any flu viruses that comes near this fragile frame of mine. bye bye FLU, it was nice getting acquainted with you. you saw me thru the exams and brought along your best-friend Mr.Fever entirely unannounced, you were still with me thru the beginning of the holidays when i should be alive n well, thru delirium n what-not. you were my over-rated friend when human presence were, for a time, absent. for now, however, i wish to communicate with my earthly companions in my image and not just with you. you made me awfully depressed so i dont quite like you very much.

Farewell, Mr. Flu. Rest In Peace (and no less).

Monday, May 02, 2005

one more paper. one more paper.im echoing jen.

i reallysuper-un-deliciouslyREALLY would never evereverever wanna move house.im so tired, its a real chore juggling the exam and moving house. this time, its for real- the moving that is.there are four of us now in the house.more than that, if u count the number of people in and out of our house just to pass us food (gma,aunt) and be fishes (to swim- cousins). it gets claustrophobic, im not used to people coming in and out of my sanctuary.

live report fm the computer nomad- this time, ive found a new place - wonderswonders --- at the airport (hoho only staff can access to the departure halls besides airline passengers) they hv free internet access, free phonecalls. if im careful enough, i can even lounge in here for hours. its really cool here. anonymity rules.and i kinda like that.