Stripped of all that is familiar and comforting, of a sense of permanence, of material possessions and of reassuring safety, the pervasive loss that wrenches the guts out of you causes you to go on automatic mode to try to capture back a semblance of normalcy. You go about daily life around that which is commonplace, seeking accustomed habits to still that helter-skelter subconscious of yours.

The burden of shame, guilt and heartache drives you to question the existence of monsters and consequently, causes you to inquire whether you are one as well. The irreparable hurt you caused lulls you into easy self-reproach and the guilt you bear torments you so. It is so tempting to repair the hurt by renouncing that which damages the ones you love.

Yet the aching heart knows that God’s perfect will works toward all that is good, sowing a precious hope that gives life to the living. The living ceases to live without such promises of eternity. You recognize that life without God becomes infinitely meaningless. You devour the claims made by Him, receiving strength like it is a matter of life and death. You realize that you can gain human love by overt submission and allegiance, by pleasing the other by playing that expected role.

The question is - would you trade an unconditional, life-giving, life-fulfilling love for fallible human love and devotion which strikes out at you once you fail them?

The ever-renewing miracle of His love.