I am awesomely exhausted like never before. I have been counting – three weeks of non-stop turbulence, everyday a new twist. I hope I’ll never have to go through that anymore. Fighting on two fronts and keeping your wits about yourself. Wondering what in the world has happened when I stock-take these few weeks. It seems almost surreal, passing by me so fast. The reality of it havent quite sunk in yet.

But there is a peace that reigns, that cradles me. My heart inwardly grieves, a dull aching pain, but I have not shed much tears. Seems like God is guarding my heart and my mind. Gaining much comfort and strength from the one I call my God. There is finally a unity in my life. No more being torn apart from all ends. To move forward and take that step of faith. No more double-lives. To live as God’s child. To openly say that I believe in Jesus.

Putting aside all that prevents me from being close to You.

Not a form, not a religion, no protocols, no reward-induced behaviour but for the love of one who inhabits every fibre of my being.

I’ll come to You once again as your little child, in all her fragility and brokenness. You will give me back your covering which i seem to have lost, vulnerable and desperate, lost in all the strife.You will comfort those who are broken because of the decisions that i choose to make and i stand on that. You will give me strength, to be that bundle of joy offering. There is no condemnation in Christ. The condemnation which once held me in bondage does not have that stronghold over me.

Grace as Marvellous, not cheap, not haphazard.

He is my Precious Pearl.