Tuesday, January 10, 2006

every night she stays up with killer eyebags not wanting to sleep - calling out her love song for a vampire, saving up coins to purchase that ride on the ferris-wheel of the Imagination, snatching slivers of neon-coloured dissonance in thin air and willing them to corporealize themselves on paper.

i would take my courage in together with this intensity which manifests itself as restlessness. who you afraid the big bad wolf? i would wolf you down with my ravenous hunger and disjointed thoughts. who you afraid to pry? i would claim you as mine break thresholds but cowards,cowards, they abound. catch you me alone and i would claim. careful now so back off youthemthey, bearing down intrusively those lights down on me. come only if you wont burn yourself with this intensity. or do you bide your time waiting to experience the layers of her onion-like skin, seeing if it's safe?

this is the angst which makes her glow in all its strangeness. someone once said she had a lot of shit in that head of hers. funny it becomes so attractive now to some. it becomes a political act to confer upon one the status of [an unwanted] rebel/strayer [as opposed to a stayer for she stays not for many], justifying that the personal is always political. the personal only becomes political if you confer upon it intended meanings for your own life so as to get away with shit that you dare not commit. your own personal safety-net with that nod-nod-yes-yes-yes! social significance. you can now wag your tail, good dog.

others, they gasp aloud - streams of her consciousness welling pass them like an affront to their conscience and vision of life. you're off-tangent. off-centre. just Off, complete Singaporeans lip-synching in unison. i would like to see you turn to me with frozen lips. see you pucker up those lips of yours in return for mine, your own set of containment policy. derive meanings from these w-o-r-d-s shall you? - not, for finally i write not denying myself - commit not intentional fallacy, this is not a fable, neither is this allegorical. the personal remains and you go away still not knowing much of those Disney-rides in mine.

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