its been barely a day since liberation released the flyfreebird, but, its been an unprecedented 24hrs i must say. if you seize Life with an intensity, instead of moping around and allowingthe hours to pass -waiting, waiting, ever waiting to achieve that nirvanic nothingness (wrong dogma, i know.hee.guard the mind now) - then uncharted territories/countries within yourself would cease to be discovered, horizons would never be breached, that stranger within yourself would never be acquainted with - hatred is not an option and neither is boredom or denial. a prosaic life is tantamount to cheating yourself.

it was a first for me and firs out, haha. here's to a serendipitious life ahead and more bumps into you.
'we had a serendipitous (shasha's word of the year 2005) moment today. i realise each time we spend time together, it's always never planned. but i kinda like the spontaneity of it all. perhaps that's what make things between us unique. not knowing when next, we'll have our heart baring (wrenching) sessions. it's like watching dvd at home you know. it's comfortable and you can pause whenever you want to and continue watching when you feel like it and still be able to follow the story. i think that's a bad analogy in both sense of 'bad'.. feel loads better soon babe!' - Fir-ry's blog <http://www.fireeks.net/>

and we ate at Carl's Jr burger joint (how Americanised is tt)(but,not in a booth) at Marina Sq - which is also a first for us. Highly expensive, if u count 8 bucks for a single burger - n more importantly, even more highly overrated. we nerd-it-on in esplanade lib, both renewing our premium membership - and i borrowed 2 dvds (Together by Chen Kaige, Look Back in Anger based on dramatist John Osborne) + books. fir awed me when he mentioned tt bout a few yrs ago, he stopped renewing the premium svc cos he had almost gone thru all of the media items!

i discovered my mean streak later on at night when i hung out with marla and her friend tim, who is a year younger. i think i said 'why dont you go play with girls your age' when he and steph got a bit too comfortable with each other, making it rather awkward for me - pawing each other all over.Whateva man. i guess its just a culmination of the latent anger in me, just pushing it, just to see how far i can go. and its not even personal - this younger-guy issue cos its basically a non-issue for me. so tim was just at the wrong place, wrong time and definitely, the wrong person. goodness, i hope i dont do a meanie on anyone else. was great seeing marla again, sometimes i dont realize how much i miss her till she comes back. its always very comfortable getting it back with her. dubai, dubai, here we come - *crosses fingers.

puked loads this morn, head pounding all over,been detoxifying myself only to have it be filled up again with more junk from Macs and Ichiban Boshi with ra, ser, jen and zhen. they're my personal angels.us with our common idiosyncracies - taxi-obsession (of which im glad im not part of. the law of opportunity costs states tt i will continue to rely on buses so as to receive a higher concentration of pleasure from other commodities. the twisted world of capitalism), notebook-fetishes with all the strange writings/imaginings, book-buying and exhanging, our current signature of What-Ever-Man with the finger-twisting signs.

tom, its culture-vulture day with jas - maybe we might do haji lane. or lil india - and we'll be trigger-happy. i miss my masala milk. will avoid chinatown for now for anticipatory reasons, ones which are fully valid.

there is a Method to this Madness - and i will gladly choose The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind as its greatest signifier and liberator. the reasons given to me somehow seems disturbingly too surreal now, after some time and distance, for it to be an act of self-sacrifice on your part. i see it as absurdly stupid, stupid and stupid. what's in my heart does not correspond to the space between, for this lack of logical progression is akin to the act of suicide - the stealing away of what's meant to be and what's already in existence. akin to a helpless pawn - dominated entirely by your decisions and desires, superseding or even disregarding mine. you're the primary actor in this tragi-comedy meant for two.

the space between Wanting and Being
is known as Desire.