this is for my evil gecko, with much love, from the non-evil mu lao hu.

today, we spoke of Death. somehow, unlike our usual theoreticizing of everything under the sun, that very act seemed misplaced, contrived - in the face of your ________ . it seemed inappropriate for me to put a finger upon how you felt today. it was a slap in my face when i said - 'i wish i knew exactly how you are feeling', and you answered with a rather cryptic 'i'd rather you not'.

Death cannot and should not be reduced to just mere words. and in that vein, dear friend of mine, i can just hope and whisper a silent prayer for you - that the trauma of it would cease to haunt you, that your ever-resilient spirit would carry you thru and that inner strength which you possess would allow you to rise above it all.

***

i had no time to hate, because
the grave would hinder me,
and life was not so ample i
could finish enmity.

nor had i time to love, but since
some industry must be,
the little toil of love, i thought,
was large enough for me.

~ emily dickinson

***

4th of may. thats when i end. yes shooby, this is 'shasha who ends after the whole world ends'.
but exams give me that freedom away from school, that desire to plan my day the way i like it, to go to my multiple dwelling places without any temporal constraints.