strangely out of place, there's a light filling this room where none would follow before. i can't deny it burns me up inside. i fan the flames to melt away my pride. do i want shelter from the rain or the rain to wash me away?

i need You.

face to the ground to hide the fatal cut. i fight the weight - i feel you lift me up.

you are the shelter from the rain
and
the rain to wash me away.

~ Jars of Clay The Eleventh Hour, 'I Need You'.

***

choose to possess a tender heart.

when a heart morphs into one that is callous, a frozen one, a heart that bypasses all sentiments - afraid to feel, the vessel is primarily as good as dead. love hence cannot overflow from it.

i think i found the cerebral a far more comforting place to repose, and the emotions a complete bother. i think i threw myself into the quest for knowledge but He told me to face it up upfront and establish relationships which would necessitate me to love, love thy neighbour as thyself. i know i want something more than just this - something beautiful, something which would require me to acknowledge my true feelings instead of pretending or backing away, leaving others a taste of that happiness which i presume would be consumed in a far better manner than if i were to be in that picture.

***

i traced the shape of my heart - and found it wanting. could You help me fulfil the desires of my heart, for i cannot bear the lack imminent in it.