nothing warms your heart when, upon opening the locker you share with an 'old-is-gold' friend, an unexpected postcard comes into your view and with much anticipation (partly due to the fact that no one has been writing to you and you love the novel feeling of receiving letters, esp unexpected ones), you devour the words written on it - this, coming from one who finds it hard to 'finds it hard to coax mushy words from me [her]', gladdens me in a fuzzy whirlpool of sentiment. it makes me want to be bold and say that the human connection between two souls is worth it - that i would fight for some. and so, jen-fur the non-mushy-queen-but-i-think-it-was-a-lie-cos-she-wrote-something-mushy-to-shasha said;

hey sha, thought i'd drop you a postcard from our favorite coffee place in the world - Starbucks! i have not seen you in ages, and i miss you (i mean it here). Friends come and go, and for a while, i thought you were a 'Go'. But well..i can only say in the recent years got to know you a whole lot better, i am loving the new and improved shasha! cheers to our ever growing and everlasting friendship. It just gets better everytime.
love, jennifer.

it makes me want to redo my entire past all over again. it makes me want to say that im sorry, to every single one of you for all the times that i did my internal disappearing acts - both physically and soul-fully, that i wish i just made the extra effort, that i did not hurt any of you by my seeming aloofness and inability to allow you deeper into my soul, that i actually cared more than you know but just didnt know how to translate it to reality. and guess what?

it just gets better, every single time.