i had a terrible dream - it had all the essence of a film noir - haunting shadows, dark oppressive atmosphere, even moths to terrify me. the sense of the loss of control. conspiracy theories. the searing sense of abandonment. Rejection - and more. it was nightmarish precisely because all my mortal fears were manifesting itself in that one dream. but ive prayed over it and He gave me the assurance. perhaps, human nature is not so daunting afterall when you trust His heart, even if mortals hurt you out of their own fallible nature, the one glimpse of His (steadfast) love would erase such scars. He would fight for you.

what causes one to hurt the one they hold close to their heart? i know my weaknesses, i know what i am humanly capable of, and it is exactly that which reminds me that i have no right (nor true desire) to hurt God's creation. He died so He could end our suffering and give us a semblance of Hope. My weaknesses should not take away the love that is rightly due to those whom He died for.

***
On Moulin Rouge

i saw it four years ago. four years later, it still reigns in my heart as one of the most tragic romance, surpassing that of even Romeo and Juliet. i think the tragedy stems from the sense of the incompletion, of a love story prematurely ending in the most possible heartwrenching manner.

i don't like incompletion or premature endings. i like progress and growth, that ability to develop together and see each other through the test of time - maturing together. that shared experience.

'show him you don't love him. you are one of the greatest actresses around'
(or something like that - at the ending when satine had to hurt him in order to save him cos she was dying)